Posted by Susan Berland on Thursday, December 24, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
I’ve been thinking about marriage a lot lately. I’ve been married twice – once for 5 ½ years and this time for almost 30 years. Don’t get me wrong. I love my husband and love being married. But, what’s the big deal about marriage?
Those who say marriage should be between a man and a woman are barking up the wrong tree. Have they looked at the divorce statistics lately? Seems to me that we heterosexuals haven’t done such a great job at it!
Posted by Susan Berland on Friday, October 23, 2009,
In :
Marriage Equality
Miles rode into Washington D.C. on a bus, along with about 1,400 others. They all came to the National Equality March to join in the march for marriage equality. Here he tells us why he came and why marriage equality is important to him.
Posted by Susan Berland on Thursday, October 22, 2009,
In :
Marriage Equality
I met Randy & Holly in Washington D.C. at the National Equality March. They came fromYork, PA to march for equality for their bisexual son and for all people to have the freedom to marry. Here is their story.
Posted by Susan Berland on Wednesday, October 21, 2009,
In :
Marriage Equality
David is a young man from San Antonio, Texas, currently going to school in New York. He tells us why he came to Washington D. C. to march for marriage equality.
Continue reading ...
Posted by Susan Berland on Tuesday, October 20, 2009,
In :
Marriage Equality
Wayne and David are together for 23 years and live in Jacsonville, Florida. They traveled to Washington, D.C. to march for eequality and tell us why and how not being able to marry has impacted their lives.
Posted by Susan Berland on Monday, October 19, 2009,
In :
Gay Rights
While at the National Equality March, I met Scott and Hope and their son Tyler. They were there marching together for equality for all gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. I asked them to share their story.
Posted by Susan Berland on Thursday, October 15, 2009,
In :
Marriage Equality
I'm not the greatest videographer, but this is what I took with my camera and my experience marching for the freedom to marry with thousands of others on Sunday, October 11th in Washington, DC. There are three videos, all of them short. I hope if you weren't able to attend, you enjoy watching them and seeing what it was like from my perspective.
Posted by Susan Berland on Wednesday, October 14, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
Marching for marriage equality was an amazing experience. New reports vary the number of people in attendace between tens of thousands to 200,000. No matter the number, the feeling was wonderful to be with all those people fighting for LGBT rights.
Posted by Susan Berland on Friday, August 28, 2009,
In :
Family
That’s me – I’m all about time with my family: my husband, my children & grandchildren (when I’m lucky enough to get it!), having fun and making memories. And I take lots of pictures when I’m doing it so I can relive those precious moments time and time again.
I’ve always been that way, but today I actually do something concrete with my photos – I actually put them in albums and tell the story of my pictures. When my children were young (and I was too) I didn’t have time to m... Continue reading ...
Posted by Susan Berland on Wednesday, August 26, 2009,
In :
Freedom to Marry
I’ve been asking myself lately, is Obama in favor of the freedom to marry or not? Is he committed to repealing DOMA or not? Did he mean what he said when he was campaigning or not?
All the while so many people were working so hard to get him elected; I was working hard to defeat Proposition 8. I rejoiced at his election. I was sitting alone in the Marin Headquarters for the No on 8 election day action listening to the radio. When the polls closed in California and the news channels announ...
“The North Carolina Court of Appeals ruled Tuesday, Aug. 18, to preserve an adoption by the state’s only openly gay legislator. Sen. Julia Boseman’s (D-New Hanover) former partner, Melissa Jarrell, had sought to void Boseman’s parental rights. Jarrell gave birth to the couple’s six-year-old son, whom Boseman later adopt...
Posted by Susan Berland on Monday, July 20, 2009,
In :
Gay Rights
My husband and I just returned from a wonderful 2 week vacation in Alaska, ending with a full day in Vancouver. We arrived in the later afternoon on a tour bus from Victoria with others, all of us needing to be dropped off at different hotels. We were the last to be dropped off, so we got a mini tour of the city. We live near San Francisco, a beautiful city surrounded by water and we both loved Vancouver. We talked about how livable it was and even fantasized about the possibility of moving ...
Posted by Susan Berland on Friday, July 10, 2009,
In :
Coming Out
I’m traveling in Alaska with my husband on a cruise ship. We started our vacation with the land portion of our trip, visiting Fairbanks, Denali & Mt. McKinley State Park. As a gay marriage activist and mother of a gay son, I’m always looking for gay couples and families. I’m a bit partial to the gay community, I must admit. And I’m always on the lookout for families who might be willing to participate in my gay marriage project.
On the bus ride from Mt. McKinley State Park to Tal...
Posted by Susan Berland on Monday, June 29, 2009,
In :
Freedom to Marry
Last Friday I read an amazing letter from a man who had witnessed the riots at Stonewall 40 years ago. I really encourage you to read his account here.
“From a couple of cop cars, one paddy wagon, about a dozen drag queens, the staff of the bar, a few drunks, some onlookers and the ubiquitous Sheridan Square pigeons grew one of the most important incidents in what has become the continuing movements for gay rights.”
On November 5, 2008 when we knew that Proposition 8 had passed and the...
Posted by Susan Berland on Wednesday, June 24, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
I’m new to this game. I’ve only been a “real” activist for a few months. What I mean is that I’ve only been putting myself out in the blogosphere, on Twitter, YouTube, etc. as such since about April. I’ve met some wonderful people in a very short time and my world has expanded in ways I couldn’t have imagined. I read other people’s blogs and am blown away by their content, their style and their professionalism. I’m a mom, trying to make a difference by telling stories o...
Posted by Susan Berland on Monday, June 22, 2009,
In :
Family
In yesterday’sOpinion section of the SF Chronicle, there was a piece on President Obama and how he sets an example of putting family first. The author, Jennifer Weiss, states, “the American public should proudly note that our president takes his personal role as father (and spouse) as seriously as he does his job as father of the country.”
She goes on to list what Obama does to be a good father:
The president has dinner with his family most nights.
Posted by Susan Berland on Monday, June 15, 2009,
In :
Freedom to Marry
According to dictionary.com, a family is defined (in part) as:
1. “parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not 2. the children of one person or one couple collectively 3. the spouse and children of one person”
There is no mention of a mother and father, perhaps it is assumed. In the rhetoric of the religious right, a family is one thing – a mother, a father and the children they produce together. I’ve heard them say that every child needs that...
Posted by Susan Berland on Tuesday, June 9, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
The gay marriage movement is changing, so I’ve heard, what we will call our quest for marriage. Personally, I’ve been calling it gay marriage. I think it says what we want, it’s easy and everyone knows what we’re talking about. Not everyone agrees.
I like the term marriage equality, but some people, when I’ve used that term, look at me with raised eyebrows, wondering what it means. Same-sex marriage says the same thing as gay marriage, only with more syllables.
Posted by Susan Berland on Friday, June 5, 2009,
In :
Gay Rights
My grandchildren arrived last night and they only come to visit once a year. They live in Florida and I in California. I usually visit them 2 or 3 times a year. My time with them is precious and I want to remember it. I take pictures. But I don’t just take pictures; I put them in albums and tell the stories of what we are doing, why they are important to me, how I feel about them. I want them to remember as well.
I’ve always taken a lot of pictures – I guess you could say I’m t...
Posted by Susan Berland on Wednesday, June 3, 2009,
In :
Marriage Equality
As I stated in my last post, President Obama declared June to be LGBT Pride Month. While he supports civil unions, he does not support marriage equality and was silent on DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act), enacted September 21, 1996.
1. No state (or other political subdivision within the United States) needs to treat a relationship between persons of the same sex as a marriage, even if the relationship is considered a marriage in another state....
Posted by Susan Berland on Tuesday, June 2, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
Today, President Obama declared June to be LGBT Pride Month. It was an amazing feeling to read what he wrote in his proclamation. He said, in part, “Here at home, I continue to support measures to bring the full spectrum of equal rights to LGBT Americans. These measures include enhancing hate crimes laws, supporting civil unions and Federal rights for LGBT couples, outlawing discrimination in the workplace, ensuring adoption rights, and ending the existing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy...
Posted by Susan Berland on Friday, May 29, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
With the recent defeat at the California Supreme Court, the LGBT community is understandably angry. I’m angry, but more sad than angry. At every blog or news report I read about the day of decision, I cry. In general, if I let myself, I cry fairly easily, but this is different. This hits me in my heart.
During the fight against Proposition 8 last year, I saw a lot of anger on our side and I still see it. I see a lot of people call Prop 8 Prop H8. It’s not that those who wrote and p...
Posted by Susan Berland on Wednesday, May 27, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
Yesterday, the California Supreme Court voted 6 to 1 not to overturn Proposition 8, the ballot initiative that wrote discrimination into our state’s constitution. I was there on the steps of the Supreme Court when the decision was “announced.” It was not so much announced – it was just the look on the faces of those coming out with the decisions in hand that told the whole story. And then they turned their thumbs down, confirming what we all dreaded. I was not totally surprised by...
Posted by Susan Berland on Monday, May 25, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
It’s Sunday, May 24, 2009. The California Supreme Court has announced that on Tuesday they will announce their ruling on Proposition 8, the amendment to the California constitution defining marriage as being between one man and one woman. I’ve hardly slept since I found out. I’d say I’m a nervous wreck, but that is too dramatic. But, I am nervous and worried. The voters passed Proposition 8 in large part, I believe, due to a campaign of lies and deceit.
Posted by Susan Berland on Friday, May 22, 2009,
In :
Relationships
This is such a historic time in the gay rights movement. Proposition 8 passed in November and we were devastated. Gays and Lesbians all over the country rallied in support of the gay marriage movement. It reminded me of the scenes I saw in the movie “Milk.” The gay rights movement of the 70s is alive and well with a new cause – marriage equality. And with the Supreme Court Decision due this Tuesday, May 26th, there will be rallies again across the state.
Posted by Susan Berland on Wednesday, May 20, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
I’ve been thinking lately how I got to where I am and how my life could have been different if I’d made different choices or if different things had happened. I believe in destiny and that I’m right where I’m supposed to be in my life. And yet, I question, what if...
What if I’d married someone different, what if I’d met my current husband first, not second, what if I’d had the daughter I’d always wanted, what if I’d had three sons instead of two. I know, pointless quest...
Posted by Susan Berland on Sunday, May 17, 2009,
In :
Gay Rights
I'm straight. One of my sons is straight; one son is gay. Did any of us choose to be that way? Were we born that way?
In the discussions on gay marriage on someone’s blog, I stated, "As the mother of a gay son, you cannot tell me when he is denied the very same rights my straight son has, that is not about equality and civil rights."
I received the following comment:
"Neither of your sons are denied any rights. You have one son who chooses not to marry the opposite gender and thus he is ...
Posted by Susan Berland on Wednesday, May 13, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
Recently I was participating in a discussion on one of my social networking groups. The topic was whether or not to change the term same-sex marriage to same-gender marriage. The discussion evolved into one about whether marriage itself was necessary if all the same rights and privileges were granted.
There was some talk about not fighting for “marriage” as it may be contentious and how important is it, if gays and lesbians really get the same rights. The discussion got a little inten...
Posted by Susan Berland on Monday, May 11, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
I have two passions in my life. One is gay marriage, which you’ve probably figured out if you’ve been reading my blog. The other is helping people get out from under all the photos they store – on their computer, on their cameras, in boxes under the bed! Don’t feel guilty if you’re one of those people – you’re in good company; 65% of people who take pictures don’t do anything meaningful with them. That used to be me and I ended up with 30 years of photo overwhelm! So now I he...
Posted by Susan Berland on Friday, May 8, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
We Have to Start Now
"A year from now you will wish you had started today." Community Activist, Karen Lamb
May 1st and 2nd, I attended Camp Courage, a training camp for Gay Marriage Activists, put on by the Courage Campaign. I’m proud to be a gay marriage activist. I come to activism late in life. The majority of those there were in their 20s and 30s and many were seasoned veterans. Those closer to my age had been activists for 30 years or more.
Posted by Susan Berland on Wednesday, May 6, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
First, let me say I’m not going to debate gay marriage with those in the National Organization for Marriage (NOM). Do you know who they are? They produced that awful video that starts “A storm is coming…”. I’m afraid I’m not so evolved that I wouldn’t get good and angry at someone like that (grin).
I’m talking about discussing gay marriage with those currently against it but open minded enough to have a civil discussion, and those against it who are in favor of gay rights. ...
Posted by Susan Berland on Monday, May 4, 2009,
In :
Marriage Equality
Had I written this 20 years ago when Rick first came out, it would have been quite different. I might have written about my fears of gay bashing, harassment, job discrimination, AIDS.
Today my thoughts turn to more mundane things. Well, not mundane considering the state of the economy, but average – having nothing to do with his being gay.
How secure is his job? What ifs… I worry about the same things every mother worries about. Even though Rick and Jeff live in a safe neighborhood, ...
Posted by Susan Berland on Friday, May 1, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
The debate about marriage equality is all over the news. They say the tide is turning and it’s just a matter of time before marriage equality is a reality. I didn’t think I’d live to see it and now I’m working to make my dream come true.
The religious right is pretty scared, based on their ever more scary tactics. Have you seen the latest video from NOM, the National Organization for Marriage? It’s full of fear tactics and no facts. Just for a fun counter to that video, check ou...
Posted by Susan Berland on Thursday, April 30, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
So, now I’m the mother of a gay son. I’ve marched in the gay pride parade. I’m somewhat out of the closet, but not all together comfortable yet. Everyone in the family knows and thankfully accepts and loves Rick. The only people he hasn’t yet told are his biological father and his parents. I was concerned about how my parents would react – they are older and from another generation, but they love their grandson unconditionally and tell him they just want him to be happy. My mom c... Continue reading ...
Posted by Susan Berland on Sunday, April 26, 2009,
In :
Coming Out
In the first weeks and months after finding out my son was gay, this liberal thinking woman, with some gay and lesbian friends, didn’t want anyone to find out! I was afraid of what they’d think, what they’d say. They might voice my fear, “He’s gay because you were overbearing, too controlling, you divorced his father, robbing him of male influence.” I knew that was a stereotype and not true, but the fear was there.
The first thing I told him when he gold me he was gay (after I... Continue reading ...
Posted by Susan Berland on Wednesday, April 22, 2009,
In :
Gay Rights
I’m a mother. I have two sons. Does a mother love her children equally? When my first son was born, I was only 20 years old – way too young to be a mother and too young to know it! 40 years later I can still remember the wonder of the new life that was being created inside my womb, the thrill of feeling him kick for the first time. That love is pretty special.
Twenty two months later my second son was born. Could I really love another child as much? Did I have that much love to give? Love ... Continue reading ...
Posted by Susan Berland on Friday, April 17, 2009,
In :
Gay Marriage
I’ve asked myself that question often. There are the easy answers. I have a gay son. I have a straight son. I’m a mother. It burns me that they aren’t treated equally. I love them equally. Why doesn’t this state, this country treat them equally? But, it’s more than that. It’s more than one man, my child born to me 40 years ago and his loving partner of 16 years, whom I adore. I also get furiously angry at the laws that allow a woman to be deported to the Philippines leavin... Continue reading ...
Posted by Susan Berland on Wednesday, April 8, 2009,
In :
Coming Out
It’s December, 1988. My husband, younger son and I had moved to San Rafael in August, leaving Rick in Los Angeles. The phone rings and Rick says, “Mom, when you visit next month, there’s something I’d like to talk to you about.” I asked him what it was about, but he didn’t want to talk about it on the phone. I hung up with a slight sense of dread – one only a mom knows. I told my husband what Rick had said and then I say, “Do you think he’s going to tell me he’s gay?”... Continue reading ...
A gay marriage activist and a Jewish mother with a quirky sense of humor, helping couples and families turn their photos into legacies with beautiful memory books. It’s all about fairness and equality.
A gay marriage activist and a Jewish mother with a quirky sense of humor, helping couples and families turn their photos into legacies with beautiful memory books. It’s all about fairness and equality.
